Posts Tagged ‘skills’
By Alex Mirsakova , AMFT
We live in a fast-paced, high- stress society, one that highlights constant productivity and achievement. The concept of slowing down and taking a break seems out of the question for many of us. Yet, the importance of taking care of our own mental well-being, and the importance of slowing down when it feels as though we must go faster – cannot be ignored. It seems counterproductive to be told to “slow down” when we feel as though we must constantly rush. But perhaps the next time we feel that familiar overwhelming sense of urgency, we can accept it as an opportunity to pause.
Developed by Kristin Neff and Chris Germer, the practice of the self-compassion break is designed for you to directly experience the three elements of self-compassion:
1) Mindfulness
2) Common Humanity
3) Kindness.
It can be used as often as you need, through a moment of pain, difficulty, frustration, or intense pressure.
I invite you to take the self-compassion break:
Take a few deep breaths and settle into your body. Take four seconds to breathe in. Take four seconds to breathe out. Focus on your breath. Focus on the sensations in your body.
Now, bring to mind a situation in your life that is creating stress or paining you. When first learning this practice, choose a problem that’s in the mild to moderate range so that you may gradually develop this quality of self-compassion.
What changes are you observing in your body? What discomforts are you noticing? What sensations are coming up for you?
When challenges are present, it is important to take time to stay calm and mindful. Speak to yourself gently and acknowledge that you are experiencing discomfort in this moment.
Mindfulness Statements:
I am not okay
I am under a lot of stress
This is frustrating
Common Humanity
As you embrace the challenges in your life, you can begin reflecting on the challenging experiences in life that all humans live through. Inviting yourself to connect with humanity and accepting that pain is a part of life will help you understand that you are not alone in your time of despair.
“I feel, through my struggle, what others feel. In this way, I am sensing this feeling as not just my own, but as a deep connection to many other people.”
Experiment with offering yourself a simple gesture of soothing touch. One option is placing your hand over your heart. Experiment with finding what feels soothing and right for you. Feel the warmth and gentle touch of your hands. You may tap lightly on your body as you ground yourself.
Words of Affirmation and Positive Statements of Kindness
Perhaps there are particular words of kindness and support that you need to hear in this difficult situation. What simple message might be a caring response? If you are having difficulty summoning the words, consider what you would offer a dear friend or a loved one who is experiencing a painful moment. What would you say to this loved one? Now, see if you can offer the same message to yourself.
I can be kind to myself
I accept where I am in my life
I forgive myself for past mistakes
I am growing to trust myself more everyday
Alex is a pre-licensed clinician who works with couples, individuals, and children/ teens ( ages 10 and up). She is bilingual and speaks Russian and English. She works via telehealth as well as in person at our Glendale, Pasadena , and Sherman Oaks offices with flexible evenings and weekends scheduling. Book with her today .
By: Anita
What is gratitude? Gratitude is more than a word; it is a belief.
We often hear the word gratitude, but we often don’t understand the real meaning of it. Gratitude means to be thankful. Seems simple, but if that were the case why is gratitude not an integral part of our daily lives?
We as humans tend to often focus on the negative aspects of life although positive experiences are happening as well. However, there could be one negative aspect and four positive aspects, but we effortlessly cling onto the focus ruminating until we are engulfed by its negativity. When negativity is focused on and magnified it starts to consume our thoughts. We begin to catastrophize and become stuck in an emotional state that can feel helpless at times. Once this happens our thoughts influence our emotions, and our emotions influence our behaviors.
What can be done to break the cycle of latching on to negative aspects of life and finding gratitude to assist with positive and thankful views?
The practice of intentional gratitude is an amazing tool to reflect and can be instrumental in everyday life. Practicing gratitude allows us not to focus on the wonders
of positive thinking, places, things, and people. Gratitude can be wonderful and help us appreciate the simple yet beautiful elements of life including its ups and down.
Being and showing gratitude has the power to influence moods, change perspectives, and assist in better quality of life.
Tips for practicing gratitude daily:
· Define the meaning of gratefulness and how you would like to show gratefulness
· Identify, acknowledge, and contemplate what you are grateful for
· Appreciate what you are grateful for by just noticing things to be thankful for.
· It is beneficial to say what you are grateful for out loud or write it down in a journal.
Examples:
1. I am grateful for this day.
2. I am grateful for my morning walk.
3. I am grateful for my family and friends.
The best way to incorporate gratitude is to apply it in your daily life. It is important to practice it at least once a day. For example, in the morning when you are starting your day. It can be practiced when having a meal. You can also add it to your night routine before going to bed.
The key is to remember to practice until gratitude becomes part of your daily routine.
Interviewing during COVID-19: Preparing for Virtual Interviewing
Posted by: admin
October 30th, 2020 >> Career
By: Destiny Johnson
While traditional interviewing can bring its own challenges due to the coronavirus, it has taken on a whole new meaning and experience for both the interviewer and interviewee, leaving some unsettled. COVID -19 has employers adapting their hiring and interviewing practices to accommodate the season of social distancing and remote working. This means interviewing, as we have known it has made a few adjustments. These new updates may be difficult to navigate and may have some thinking about how they should prepare. Do not worry, there are still ways to conquer the job sector with a few concrete and concise tips for virtual interviewing to help you better prepare. These tips can lead to successful outcomes and build your confidence before and during your big day.
Remember preparing for a virtual interview may be different and, in some way, uncomfortable, however it is still designed for you to articulate, and showcase your skills in an engaging way.
- Make sure you have the right computer equipment, and software programs prior to the interview. A virtual interview requires equipment such as:
o camera and microphone on your computer, tablet, or smartphone
o software application program (such as Zoom or Google Hangouts etc.)
Set up and test computer technology to ensure it works properly. Download video meeting software prior to the interview and practice logging on at least a day before your virtual interview. Turn on the sound and video to ensure everything is in working order.
- Confirm you have a strong internet connection. Before your interview 20 minutes beforehand check internet access and connection. You want to ensure you have the right bandwidth to stream video. Once your connection is made, sign into the video meeting using the link provided by the company or interviewer. Technical challenges can occur but will be worse if you have not tried to troubleshoot prior to the interview.
o Have a backup plan if technology is not working. If this is possible and feasible for you, have a smartphone or tablet that you can use as a backup plan if your computer is not working. Many apps can be used interchangeably from one device to the other.
- Workspace for the interview should be clutter free with a clean background. Not everyone has an office space in their home however, it is important to have a clean background that will be visible to interviewers. The background can be a color solid wall, a wall of paintings, or organized kitchen or bedroom, or nice décor accent. Zoom also has a setting in which you can choose a picture as a background. Test it out: https://support.zoom.us/hc/en-us/articles/210707503-Virtual-Background
- Choose a space that limits distractions. Select a quiet area free from distraction to have your interview. With everyone being home these days, prepare your family for the interview a few days prior so if adjustment needs to take place that can. If you have pets, house them in a different room. If you have small children do your best to plan your interview around nap times if you can. We are all home and navigating shared spaces so do your best to limit distractions.
- Familiarize yourself and do your research. With any interview you must prepare. Whether it be virtual or in person the process is the same. Do your research and know the company, job description and responsibilities, and prepare to connect and discuss your transferable skill.
- Dress professionally and grooming should be polished. Although you are having a virtual interview, your dress attire and appearance matters and is still a very important process of interviewing. Do not slack on appearance. Wear professional attire and groom your hair and face.
- Lighting and professional posture. Make sure to sit up straight and place the camera so that you are in the middle of the screen. Use an area that has good lighting for the webcam to focus on your face and the interviewer can see you easily.
- Stay engaged and authentic. The benefit of virtual interviews is you can pick a setting that you feel comfortable in. Using a relaxing environment will help you express yourself authentically. Stay engaged by using confident tones and speech. Use your body language and facial expression to show interest in the topic.
- Smile and make eye contact. Here is a trick, grab a small post it and place it near your computer camera that reminds you to smile naturally
- Take notes. Have a notepad or a piece of paper and pen ready handy to take notes or open a tab for notes on your computer. Write down any questions that the interviewer is asking to ensure you answer them fully.
- Share skills and examples concisely. Express your skills that display your adaptability during this difficult time along with skills aligned with the job duties. Take your time, formulate your answers including concrete examples that are concise, yet paint a vivid picture of your abilities.
- Prepare questions. At the end of each interview there is a moment you can ask questions to the interviewer. This is a great time for you to convey your dedication to learning about the company. Have 1 or 2 questions prepared beforehand to ask. Some question can be related to
o In person health and safety guidelines (mask wearing, temperature checks, social distance due to COVID).
o Job security of position, office culture, and support due to pandemic
o What policy changes have the company made or things you should expect to accommodate remote work.
o What are the new opportunities the company is developing or what are the challenges the company may be facing and solutions etc.
- Follow-up after the Interview. Within 24 hours of the interview you should contact HR or the hiring representatives to say thank you for their interview and consideration and express your availability for further questions.
