Archive for the ‘achieve’ Category
Dealing with Loss of plans or dreams
Posted by: admin
July 20th, 2021 >> achieve, Career, goal setting, productivity
By: Destiny Johnson – Career Counselor at Avedian Counseling Center
As humans, we tend to be drawn to achievement and progress. We set goals and seek ways to fulfill them. Accomplishments give us all a sense of pride and confidence. When we can dream and achieve, it creates positivity and hope for the future. Think of a goal that you worked hard for and finally saw it come to fruition. How did you feel? Empowered or inspired? However, what occurs when a dream or plan is lost or not realized? Disappointment or discouragement?
If achievement is the vehicle used to create purpose and self-worth then the loss of achievement can impact many individuals negatively. Feelings of sadness, disappointment, and discouragement are emotions that arise when dreams aren’t accomplished. Some dreams are lost due to unplanned circumstances outside of our control while others are a conscious decision. Some dreams are snatched or not accomplished due to injury, anxiety, new responsibilities, death of a loved one, poverty, discrimination, age, lack of preparation, illness, or low skill development.
Let’s review some scenarios :
A track athlete has trained all year long for the chance to win a medal during an important track meet. The athlete has spent hours exercising, running drills, working on breath control and form. They have adapted their lifestyle to accommodate where they want to be health-wise. Then the date of the meet arrives, they complete a routine warm-up and off they go running in the race of a lifetime. They pivot wrong and instantly the knee begins to buckle and the pain causes the athlete to fall behind and just like that the dream of the medal drifts away…..
Or
A little girl dreams of her wedding day. She is wearing a beautiful dress and envisions her father giving her away. Fast forward to the end of high school and her father becomes ill, and within a year he passes away. The young lady now works through her grief slowly. Now she is done with college and meets a special person and after two years of dating, she gets a proposal. She is excited and joyful. As she prepares to marry her partner, she is overwhelmed with sadness realizing her father will not be there to walk her down the aisle.
Regardless, of the scenario, the loss of a plan or a dream can be difficult to experience and even harder to accept. The losses can be incredibly hard to understand, cope, and can come in waves of disappointment. I am sure some have heard the five stages of grief. However, grief can occur and pops up without notice during milestones, anniversaries, or important events.
How can we address the loss of dreams when they occur? Questions to help you address loss:
What can be learned when plans and dreams are lost?
What can be learned about ourselves when plans or dreams aren’t accomplished?
How can you reframe your story?
What resources can you use when navigating the loss of plans and dreams?
Do you need to talk with someone about your loss of dreams?
Additionally, here are some strategies:
- Permit yourself to grieve. It is normal to be disappointed and sad when dreams do not match reality. Sadness is a signal that we should not ignore but understand and is a natural reaction. You are allowed to not feel or be ” okay” and to process the pain of what was lost. Identify your hurt and what it means to move forward healthily.
- Identify the accomplishments that have occurred to remind you of the progress that has already taken place. You have a right to review your wins and applaud yourself. Look for the good in your life.
- Recalibrate and get organized to figure out what the next best steps are for you. Seek out helpful resources to help with overcoming grief and actively work to avoid getting stuck.
- Reframe your experiences that are negative to see a new positive outcome. Reframing is critical to overcoming the grieving process and losses.
SETTING GOALS DURING THIS NEW SEASON
Posted by: admin
September 16th, 2020 >> accountability, achieve, attainable, commitment, goal setting, measureable, motivation, productivity, reflect, SMART goals, time oriented
SETTING GOALS DURING THIS NEW SEASON
By: Destiny M. Johnson
During this new season of ambiguity, one might find themselves searching for meaning and direction. Things that felt so common and routine like leaving the house to attend an event, going to get food, or going for a walk have decreased due to the easily transmitted and wide spread of coronavirus, COVID- 19. The typical day for many individuals has changed and left much uncertainty about the future. Some pressing questions may be, how do I find normalcy when things keep shifting and changing? How do I make a schedule that fits my new lifestyle of being home with children? How can I still progress in my career while managing homeschooling? How do I measure my productivity?
Although these questions are arising, take heart in knowing you are not alone during this difficult time. Many are in transition and taking stake of what is important to them. Adjusting and setting goals to enhance productivity doing this new season is essential during this time.
Why making goals and writing them down are important?
Setting goals are important because they provide tangible productivity, direction, and degrees of purpose to one’s life. Goal setting yields many with the opportunity to become intentional and an active participant in their life rather than a bystander. Goals allow for everyone to seek out and define objectives and aim to complete them.
Did you know, you are more likely to accomplish a goal if you write them down? Writing down Goals can free up space in your mind, so you can focus on other things or more specifically on things that matter. Also writing down goals helps you remember them and stay attentive to what you want to accomplish.
Here are some tips for Goal Setting:
Define your WHY…. for Setting Goals
· It is good to identify why you want to accomplish a goal. Is this goal for you or others? Why is this goal important to you? Who does the goal serve? What is the purpose of your goal? Is this a Project Goal, Personal Goal, Career Goal, Passion Goal etc.
Find you Motivation
· Ask yourself, what and who is your motivation? Is this Intrinsic or extrinsic motivation? Intrinsic motivation definition refers to behavior that is driven by natural and inborn satisfaction. Someone with this motivation looks for an internal reward such as personal growth and development. There is a strong personal desire to thrive that energies a person to complete a task. The opposite is extrinsic motivation, which is driven by others recognition or external rewards or to avoid punishment. Rewards or incentives can be praise, promotion, fame, or money. Either types of motivations can be used however, it is vital to know where your motivation comes from. Knowing where your motivation stems from will allow you to draw from that place if fatigue begins to occur during your process toward achieving your goal.
Determine the Duration
· Establish if the goal is short-term, weekly, monthly, or long-term and if you are willing to commit to the duration.
Set S.M.A.R.T. Goals.
S.M.A.R.T. Goals are effective because they are:
· Specific – They are clearly defined and identify your uniqueness. Define what you want and do not be vague. Clearly defined goals help you stay on track, so you do not drift away or change the goal midway because it was too general.
· Measurable – They can be quantifiable and able to be proven.
· Attainable – They are reasonable to manage and possible to be achieved. Be honest with yourself and set goals that can be successfully completed.
· Realistic – They are a true representation of you and relevant to who you are. Make it personal!
· Time Oriented – They are planned with a beginning and an ending, deadline, or timetable. Do not fall into a cycle of starting a goal with no set timing of accomplishing the goal. Time sets the boundary and can help with accountability.
You can create goals in bite sizes. This format of goal setting will help guide you, track progress along the way, provide accountability based on the time you have set for yourself and ultimately help you reach completion.
Have Accountability
· Use of technology such as reminders and notes on cell phones, excel spreadsheets, computer software, etc. Also, Apps to track progress are great. Some tracking apps that can be used are goal setting tracker, daily planner, todoist, trello, and Monday.
· Journaling and writing down goals using a planner are great accountability. Other fun alternatives are using post it notes, dry erase board, vision board with goals or even writing goals on a mirror. Visibility of goals remind you that you are working toward something and help you manifest them.
· Accountability Partner or Group. Who is in your circle of influence and supports you? Reach out to those family or friends for support and let them in. This connection will help you when things get hard and they will also be there to help celebrate your progress.
Revisit, Reflect, Recalibrate
Not all goals are easy to accomplish therefore, revisit the goal and take time to reflect. It is necessary to check on your progress periodically throughout your process. Remember reflection is part of the journey. Take inventory on where you are mentally and emotionally. Reflection will help you determine if things are going well or if things need to be recalibrated for more efficiency. It is okay to modify the goal, this does not mean you have failed. Things change and we must adjust and keep moving forward.
Trust the Process
Understand that hiccups may occur so be patient with yourself and be open to the process. Achieving goals have their highs and lows and require resiliency. Pace yourself but do not be afraid to push past uncomfortability. Be kind, be gentle, and take care of yourself. Some goals require mental and emotional strength, time, money, and effort. Whatever the goal may need trust that if you are doing your part it will all work out.
Celebrate the Progress and the Wins
Do not forget to clap for yourself. The finish line is not the most important part of the race. The journey tends to be what you spend the most time on, so celebrate each milestone no matter how small. Then when you accomplish what you set out do it big you deserve it.
